Support

I am starting to get a tad freaked out.  The person I asked to take me to surgery bailed on me.  It is tomorrow.  

I could ask my better half but he already does so much.  He would do anything I ask.  I know this.  I try to lessen the load on him.  

I hate asking for help.  FUCKING hate it.  I notified my blood family about this but didn’t ask for anything because it makes me seem weak.  I really hoped they would offer.  I would offer.  

My circle is small.  I have always been awkward around people.  I only have three “ride or die”.  One is already neck deep. One is 13 hours away.  One is fourteen.  

Is this a sign that I shouldn’t do the surgery? It took 3 months to get my first screening and 10 days to schedule this surgery so I assume it is important.  I have failed trying to talk the doctor and pre-op out of the surgery.  

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I could “what if” this to death. 

I know my better half will take me.  I just hate always needing help.  Always him having to do everything.  

Where do you get help when you don’t have family? How do you take some of the responsibility and pressure off of your support person? 

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