Hello Kitty

Well surgery is quickly approaching.  Another surgery.  My fears of surgery and general anesthesia come with a list of precautions.  

Surgery has proven to make things worse in the past.  Maybe this time it will actually make things better.  šŸ¤ž

I keep asking the doctors if it necessary.  They say yes. I warn them of what happens to me.  Scarring, infection, blown stitches, hernias.  Trying to deter them.  

I am going. My 14-year old daughter will be accompanying me along with a non blood relative.  My daughter is able to lift me.  Gently.  Take care of me.  I am appreciative for sure but apprehensive that this cannot be good for her.  Seeing me so sick.  

My daughter is a special human.   Wise beyond her years and has a decent grasp on reality and the world.  Without her my life would truly suck.  

I reached out and told my blood family about the surgery and have gotten no response.  This hurts.  It really hurts to mourn people who are still alive.  But as I have sought support in groups all over it is a common theme.  Families abandon what they perceive to be their weakest link.  The strong eating and abandoning the ill. Wolf and sheep. 

For those that have been abandoned by your family because you are sick, I send you love and light.  Although it hurts like hell this too will pass.  

On a happy note I haven’t been feeling well and my better half took me to The Hello Kitty Cafe.  He packed a chair for the line.  Held the umbrella to prevent the sun.  

It was exciting and fun.  I really had a great day.  I have a Hello Kitty collection.  I have loved her since the 80s and now collect everything. 

Between my kids and my better half I am very lucky.  They have made my life worth living through the pain.  They are the greatest pain medicine.  I am embarrassed sometimes that I cannot give them the woman I use to be but I hope my kids see me as strength.  Perseverance.  Hope.  

I hope they see my relationships as what love is supposed to be.  

I will try to write out and post my recipe for Mushroom Gyros with Greek Lemon potatoes soon. An adaptation of a recipe from my ex-mother-in-law.  Sweetest woman ever.  šŸ’œ

Love and light.  

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